Making New Year’s Resolutions into ART

As December is to crazy shopping centers, so January is to crazy fitness centers.  High traffic (and no parking), high stress, high insanity.  If you’re like me, then your desire to do something is inversely proportional to the level of crazy that you must endure.  Accordingly, January is the worst time of the year to go to the gym.  The influx of New Years Resolutioners is at its most intense at the beginning of the month.  Fortunately, by January 30, all has returned to normal.

It’s not that I wish any of the ‘Resolutioners’ ill, nor do I want them to fail to achieve their goals.  It’s just that a great deal of historical data tells me that they won’t.  Knowing this makes me extra cynical as I want and try to poach an unoccupied treadmill.

If you have a New Year’s Resolution, and you want to actually accomplish something, make sure to structure it as a SMART goal. SMART is an acronym for:

S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Time-bound

SMART goals are overly-common though tragically under-utilized strategies.  By this, I mean that most resolutions don’t suffer from a lack of (S) specificity, although most are a bit anemic when it comes to (M) measurability.  The last three letters (ART), don’t get much focus at all.

Here’s what I discovered last year.  I can do anything for one month.  Sure, New Month’s Resolution doesn’t have the same ring to it, but at least I achieve something.  Hey!  There’s the elusive (A) in my SMART goal.  Pretty much takes care of the (R) as well since I know I can sustain a one-month effort.  But wait, we’re talking about a month here, which is a measure of time (T).  Holy smokes, I did it.  I completed the model.

Some examples:

• Losing weight – Go to the gym 2x per week for just one month
• Stop drinking Diet Coke – Replace Diet Coke with sparkling water for just one month
• Have a cleaner home – Spend 15 minutes cleaning, 3x per week, for just one month
• Be more romantic – Do one unexpected nice thing for my wife 1x per week for just one month

Recommendation:  This year, make your New Year’s Resolutions into ART by breaking them into one month increments.  If you achieved your goal in month one, then extend it for a month.  For extra credit, you can even make your goal incrementally harder.  Just make sure that it stays (A) achievable, (R) realistic, and (T) time-bound!

Life Lessons from Mens Softball

I played in the state championship tournament for mens novice slow-pitch softball a couple of weeks ago.  As an FYI to everyone who’s never been to this prestigious tournament, saying that you went to state for mens novice softball is like saying you got a trophy when you played tee ball.  Pretty much everyone that plays tee ball gets a trophy, and well, everyone that plays mens novice softball goes to state. 

You might think that because everyone gets to go, those of us that play wouldn’t take it too seriously.  You’d be wrong.  Mens novice softball is the most competitive non-competitive sport out there.  It’s life and death on the slow-pitch diamond.  We take it seriously and we play our level-best.  Sure, there are full-grown men that strike out or don’t hit past the pitcher’s mound, but they are giving it their all and even they will be at state.  Needless to say, striking out in slow pitch is an embarrassing occasion where even in a church league, you’ll endure more than a few taunts and jabs.

I have a batting ritual that I run through at every at-bat, just so that this won’t happen to me.  I used to say that I’ll never strike out in slow-pitch because its slow pitch, but I have definitely struck out.  It only happened once, after which, per the recommendations of my teammates, I promptly left the field and headed straight home to remove my panties from the dryer.  I would say that it will never happen again, but pride cometh before the fall, so I stick to the ritual. 

Stepping up to the plate, I tap the bat firmly against the inside of my cleats to knock out any mud clinging to them.  I place my left hand just inside the cap at the base of the bat to give myself the most leverage and grasp just above that with my right hand.  To visualize where the bat will connect with the ball, I take a couple light swings.  

Then, I give the pitcher a hard stare, and he looks back at me with black grease under his eyes to protect them from the harsh sun.  In our battle of mutual intimidation before he lobs the ball, I make sure I am ready-er than him. 

As the umpire lowers his hand, signaling the go-ahead to the pitcher, I watch in slow motion as the ball is pitched–which is easy because, in slow pitch, the ball actually travels in slow motion.  As it ever slowly crosses the distance between the pitcher’s mound and me, I think to myself, “Feet planted, step-in, level swing, eye-on-ball, CRACK!, swing through.”  Although it’s happened before, most of the time I don’t strike out, hitting past the pitcher’s mound and somewhere out into the green outfield.  On a few good occasions, the ball burns past the heads of the outfielders resulting in a run or two.  On the best occasions, the ball sails over the fence while waving to the hapless outfield players who can only watch in dismay.

I expect more success out of the ritual I just described, each time I step up to the plate, than if I were to instead think, “don’t strike out, don’t strike out, don’t strike out.” 

In things big and small, I know that my thoughts matter.  If I focus my attention on what I want, I know that I will achieve it with far more consistency than if I focus my attention on avoiding what I don’t want. 

What do you want?

Now What? A Survival Guide for when there are Too Many Choices

It took Thomas Edison 10,000 versions of the lightbulb before he found one that worked.  When asked about his many failures he replied, “I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” 

I remember the day that I graduated from college for a few reasons.  First, its only been a few years, and other than my rebellious junior year where I consumed enough caffeine to choke Juan Valdez’s donkey, I didn’t do much of anything that qualified as mind-altering while in college.  Having preserved most of my brain cells, forgetting my graduation would indicate a problem.

Second, that particular day sticks out in my mind because we had the good fortune to have sunny weather–allowing us to enjoy our commencement on the freshly-mowed athletics field.  

That may not sound like it qualifies as memorable except for two things:  sun is not always something you can expect up here in Washington, and I have a grass allergy.  There is nothing quite so perfectly memorable as getting carried across the stage due to the frequency and power of the sneezes which caused me to convulse violently every few seconds.    Suffice to say, it was a day much like any other.  There was just one problem.  With the exception of yours truly, everyone around me seemed to think this was the culmination of my young life.

High school and college graduations are often memorable experiences.  Perhaps you remember the ceremony and pageantry, the feeling of culmination and of accomplishment, the potential and promise of great things to come.  Or perhaps you remember a buzz kill, the day your bubble burst, and the day everyone asked, “Now what?”  A question to which you had no good response, making you feel pretty crappy.  After all, from their perspective, the world was your oyster, you could’ve choosen anything! 

As most of us know from experience, too many choices be crippling.  Some of those same people who asked me ‘Now What?’, regularly take 45 minutes choosing ice cream at Baskin Robbins, even though they always end up getting Prailines and Creme. 

With an abundance of choices comes the pressure to choose the very best one.  It doesn’t matter if you’re choosing ice cream, a movie at Blockbuster, a major, a career–the list goes on.  Each of us feel a compulsion that forces us to agonize over the choice.  We feel somehow, that if we choose wrong, it will mean that we failed. 

You might think I’m crazy, but I believe that choosing wrong is actually one of the markers that someone will be successful.  Let me explain:

At 3M, a large multi-national company known for innovation, the senior leaders encourage failure.  They actually request that their employees ‘fail faster.’  This concept is the very seed of innovation, vision, and brilliance because it removes the pressure from choice.  Fail faster!  This philosophy says, “Don’t worry about the specific choice.  Just choose something quickly.  If it doesn’t work out, if you ‘fail’, or if you discover that you’ve made the wrong choice, you have actually succeeded.  Well done!” 

I just wish that I could have learned this sooner.  What a relief it would have been to know that no matter what I chose, I could always choose differently down the road.  It would have saved me a lot of unnecessary agony, and I would have been able to answer the question, “Now what?” with confidence and conviction. 

So now, I’m turning that question back to you.  “Now What?”  What decisions have you been putting off in your life?  I challenge you to make your choice right now.  It will be your first step toward your next success.

As you approach life, your career, and ice cream, choose quickly and fail faster!  If you don’t like what you end up with, then choose something else.  No big deal.  Wash, rinse, and repeat until you find your perfect fit. 

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.” ~Napolean Hill

Event plus Reponse equals Outcome

Who will be more successful–someone who has achieved an MBA, or someone who never attended undergrad?

What is the single best determinant of success?  Ask this question in a group of people and you’re going to get a lot of different answers.  Some of the answers you will hear are education, previous wealth, the right opportunities, desire, persistance.  In reality, all of these answers are false, and they are also all partly true. 

I recently participated in discussion on LinkedIn where the question was asked, “Who will be more successful–someone who has achieved an MBA, or someone who never attended undergrad?”  This sparked a debate between the value of each.  Remarkably in this discussion, both sides are represented more or less equally.  Below is my response:

“Both individuals have the ability to be successful at the same levels. One of the brightest and most successful entrepreneurs that I know never went to undergrad. Furthermore, I know this to be a common story among many successful entrepreneurs. On the other hand, an MBA can provide the tactical education as well as important connections that have helped launch many a successful enterprise. This leads me to believe that it is not our level of education or the number of opportunties we encounter, but it is our response to them that determines our success. “

As asserted by world renouned success coach, Jack Canfield, The key here is the formula E + R = O.  The event plus our response to it equals the outcome we obtain.  We cannot always control the events in our lives but we can control our response to them.  This means that a minority child raised by an illiterate single mother, who drops out of high school and faces adversity every day can choose his response!  In this specific example, I’m referring to Wally Amos who grew up to found Famous Amos cookies.  Someone with an MBA or wealthy parents who offer an abundance of opportunities, may also be successful of course–but it is their reponse to those things that makes it so and not just that they occured. 

So what I want to focus on over the next few weeks and months, is making sure that I have the correct response to the events that happen in my life.  To do this here’s what I’ll try to do: 

• When an event occurs, I will try to identify the various possible responses that I could have.
• I will identify, what I feel will be, my best possible response to that event
• Then I will identify the steps I need to take, or the mindset I need to have, to achieve that best response
• Then I will TAKE ACTION

All of the above steps are important because there are always choices after each event.  If we are not deliberate in choosing our response, then we may not always choose the best one.  As you read this, I hope that you will feel empowered knowing that you are always in control of your response, and it is your response that determines your success. 

Have a good week everyone and thanks for reading.

Blind to Challenge

In an annual performance evaluation, a while back, I was reviewing my strengths and weaknesses with my manager at the time.  He started to talk about my ability to identify obstacles, bottlenecks, and potential risks.  I believed this to be one of my strengths, and so I listened proudly until I realized that he was describing it as a weakness.  Arrogantly, I explained to him how important it was to be able to identify potential problems and obstacles because as a project manager you have to be able to anticipate those kinds of things.  He corrected me by letting me know that it was important to identify solutions to problems and not problems themselves.  He was right. 

Until then, I had taken pride in identifying and informing my team of obstacles, risks, project hindrances, and activities that would delay timelines, because I thought I was preparing everyone for what was coming.  What I was doing, however, was focusing everyone’s attention on something negative.  It’s no surprise that this acted like a weight on the momentum and energy of my projects, dragging them down.

The easiest thing to do is to identify a problem or a reason something can’t be done.  People do it all the time, and most don’t make it past that point.  Focusing on solutions is a choice.  It is a deliberate decision to be unswervingly positive.  It is what leaders do, and it is what I want for myself. 

Since that conversation with my manager, I have been trying to develop the habit of seeing solutions instead of problems.  I haven’t perfected it yet, but this single change has already made a tremendous impact on both my personal and my professional relationships.  When you present someone with a solution to a problem that hasn’t happened yet, it makes a glowingly positive and lasting impression. 

To try to cultivate this new attitude, here’s what I’m doing.  Each day, I make a decision that I will be positive.  In fact, I actually I say it out loud to myself.  Then, over the course of the day, I try to do two things. 

First, I try to compliment at least one person with something that is specific and true (i.e. You know Joe, I really appreciate how quickly you respond to my emails.  It’s good to know that you are on top of things.)  Committing to complimenting someone every day with something genuine helps to train me to look for and focus on the positive.

Second, whenever I am faced with a problem, I identify how I would solve it.  If I can solve it without input from anyone else, then I take the appropriate action.  If I need further input, I approach the appropriate person and say, “Here’s the problem (insert problem here).  Here’s what I think we should do (insert solution here).”  This habit forces me to think through solutions and has the positive side-effect of giving people the positive impression that I am competent.

To reiterate, taking these small steps, have made a tremendous positive impact for me.  So, I encourage you to do the same.  Be deliberate.  Take a moment and make the choice that you will be positive today.  I guarantee that you will be amazed at how much you get in return for your effort.

Are you Getting the Results You Want?

Every system is perfectly designed for the results that it achieves–not necessarily the results that you intend.

In the not so distant past, I was stuck in traffic on my way home from work.  I have to cross two bridges to get to and from work, so this is a regular thing for me.  To paint the mental picture, imagine a very gray rainy commute in stop and go traffic where you halfway zone-out on the brake lights in front of you turning on and off as you inch forward.  Kind of seems like our summer so far…

Now for the bad news.  This is life!  Wake up, commute, work, commute, home, sleep, repeat.  That particular moment was a very existential, “what is the point of all this,” kind of moment for me.  I called my wife and told her that I felt that life should be an adventure and somehow we were missing it.  If this is the reward for pouring hours into work and climbing the corporate ladder, I was quickly realizing that I wanted none of it.  To make matters worse, I’ve been doing the same thing for three years.  It’s like being on a treadmill, running and getting no where. 

How many of us experience this?  I imagine there are more than a few. 

That same day, I examined my life as if it were a system.  What were the results that I was achieving?  Where was I growing?  What was I creating?  Who was I helping?  Where was I serving?  Was I getting anywhere or was I really on a treadmill?  I decided to consider these questions honestly, and the answers I uncovered were not encouraging.  When one day blends into the next and there is little to mark 3 years of passed time, something has got to change.  My system was not producing the results that I wanted, so I knew that it was time to get a new system.

Easier said than done right?  Here are the steps that I took:

1.  Decide what I did want and what I did not want for the following categories:

• Marriage:  I’m new to marriage, but my wife and I are also both new to the career world.  This means that we’re tired after getting home from work and find it easy to just make some food and watch tv.  I wanted to get us doing things that excite us and things that will last as fun memories together.  I also wanted my wife to know and be continually reminded of how much I love her.
• Service:  To whom much is given, much is expected.  As Americans, we have so much wealth, opportunity, etc.  I wanted to start giving back, and I wanted to leverage my unique skills to make a real impact.
• Career:  Working 40 hours a week for the next 40 years is a painful sounding proposition.  Of course, not having a paycheck wouldn’t be good either.  I wanted to have enough income to be able to serve where I want to serve, live more life, and achieve time freedom.
• Finances:  I didn’t want to live at the edge of my means.  I want to live below my means and start building my net worth.
• Health:  I used to play water polo.  Since then, I would say my performance at ‘staying in shape’ has been abysmal.  This needs to change.  I also consume sugar like its going out of style, and am afraid that my addiction to it might get to the point where I actually steal candy from babies.  This also needs to change.
• Faith:  I have not been investing in my faith and spending time getting to know my creator.  This needed to change. 

2.  Come up with a plan for making real changes to my system:

• Marriage:  Go out on one date per week that is planned beforehand and is not in the house.  Do one romantic thing per week for my wife.
• Service:  My father passed away when I was 12.  My mom did a great job, but I had to learn a lot of things the hard way, that my father probably would have taught me.  I would love to be a positive influence to someone in a similar situation.  I have resolved to be a mentor through Community for Youth.  http://www.communityforyouth.org/
• Career:  I need a paycheck, so I’m not quitting my job, but I am pursuing other streams of income.  I am working on three side businesses that I will be seeing through to completion.  I am confident that pursuing income streams that do not depend on my employment will allow me more freedom to do what I want to do sooner–and I won’t have to wait 40 years to retire.  If this sounds good to you too, then the following are good reading:  Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, The Four Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris, and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. 
• Finances:  Create and keep a budget where I commit 10% to short-term savings, 10% to long-term savings, and 10% to give away.  Also, I’m getting rid of my debt using the snowball method – check out Dave Ramsey’s book Financial Peace.  Looks like I’ll be living skinny for the next little while, but that’s ok.  For online budgeting resources that I’m using, check out www.mint.com.  I’ve also created a couple spreadsheets to track my finances through a more ‘hands-on’ approach.  I would be honored if they could help you too.  To download these spreadsheets, go to: http://smallbizerp.yolasite.com/downloads.php
• Health:  I’m going to excercise three days per week.  1 day of softball, 1 day of volleyball, and 1 day of in the gym working out or running with my dog.  I’m also going to eat a healthy breakfast, and eat vegetables at every supper.  Alcohol only on the weekends, and sugar only one time per day.
• Faith:  I am going to spend time praying, reading, and meditating every day.  Every week, I am going to spend time in fellowship with other men who inspire me to deeper faith.

Is your system achieving the results that you want?  If not, then don’t expect that doing the same thing is going to yield different results.  Change your system. 

There are plenty of ways to do this, but for what it is worth, here’s what I recommend: 

Lay out the categories that are important to you, and ask yourself what you do want and what you don’t want.  Use mine if it makes it easier.  🙂  Write them down!  Then come up with a plan for what needs to be done to make the necessary changes, and GET UNCOMFORTABLE!  Finally, review your goals weekly, and start surrounding yourself with things that inspire you to stay on track–good books, and encouraging people are a good place to start.  As soon as you start, you will feel great because you have taken control of your life. 

Sometimes all we need is hope.  It can change your entire existence.  For me, I finally saw that there was a way out, a way that my days would stop meaninglessly blending together, a way to start living an adventure.  If this sounds at all like something you want, then take control and change your system!